Straight from the heart..

Waiting with doubt
Of what you bring
Dreaming of love
Hanging by a string

Someone to care for
Someone to hold
What am I there for
When the nights are cold

Take my hand
Don't be afraid
Leave the hate
It's time to heal the pain

After all the talk
With a moment of silence
Let's reflect
That this wasn't prescience

That we have known
Right from the start
We shall love
And never shall we part..

On higher ground..

I know i promised myself
I wouldn't hurt anymore
But times have changed & things i've heard,
Made me miss you more

Left adrift treading the sea
I ask myself how
"If you weren't sure she cared then
Why do you care now?"

Now that I know, what transpired
I guessed you would be down,
But then I admired you smiling away
Albeit with a frown

I thought revenge would mean
You rotting in hell
But you don't seem to be
needing any help

But in my pain,
To my surprise I found
What drove me less insane
Was being on the moral high ground..

Captain Spack Jarrow

You think you could make it in an instant
like a cup of coffee
But then you lose the moment
like the flash at sunset

As you step out
onto waters untread
with nothing but your will
and a mind unread

Like a tree without the sun
a bird losing its song
Its hard, so hard
Like man without a God

Then you know its time
time to unfurl your wings and fly
leaving the ground behind
and everything will turn out fine..

I'm gonna miss you..

I'd look over my shoulder
Thinking you'd look back too,
Then as i saw you with another
I was struck down with horror,
That I'm the fool here, not you..

I guess I'll move along
Its been ages since you've gone
About time I put you out of my mind
No more lovers' fight,
Time for a clean slate, tonight ..

I hope you never change
Enjoying life, like a child
Without bitterness or rage
I have no hate to confide
I wish, happiness, you will find..

Now that we are through
I'll have to find somebody new
Find somebody better
But i know, forever,
I'm gonna miss you..

I'm gonna.. miss.. you...

500 Days of Bummer..

There she goes
walking down the street,
Eyes all turn
when she's dancing to the beat..

Work's not a chore
with her lighting up your life,
Nothing's a bore
by the shining moonlight..

She's like a flower in bloom
Every time she sleeps,
Summer in June
that is what she is..

We needed no answer
but for a lover's sigh,
Then every single frown
turned into a fight..

Should've seen them coming ,
away, from a mile
Should've taken stock,
of those subtle signs..

Passion and romance,
Its all just a game,
Nothing is forever,
Neither love nor pain..

Get over her mate,
Such is fate,
Love is like laundry,
Just rinse and repeat..

Bliss..

The sunlight seemed to guide
the two of us
Hand-in-hand
on this unpaved path..

We cooked up lovely plans,
Made silly sweet romance..
and waded into
lands unchartered..

I knew I was meant for you
as you were meant for me..

I ran ahead to see
what bliss we could achieve,
but then i turned around
you were arm-in-arm with him, not me..

How was I to know,
That you would treat me so,
Is that all I am
A crushed up cola can..

I thought I was meant for you
as you were meant for me..

I thought we were meant to be
from the way you used to hold me,
Oh what a memory
Just you, and, me..

As I head off the tower
at this unearthly hour
It became plain to me
that you were not worth a scream..

I was not meant for you
nor you for me..

Only You...

My feelings may appear
Not so very clear
But I thought, they'd never show

Like the sacred seven
I felt heaven
That's all, I'll ever know

All I'd ever wanted
Was to see that smile
For now, and ever more

Every thing I do
Every thing so true
And it's all, you need to know

I make no pretensions
Or pray for divine intervention
Of that, you can be sure

Think all you like
Take your time
But I know for me, it's you.. only you..

Abandoned

A nightmarish fantasy
Of you walking away,
Felt abandoned here
In time, and space

The walls around
Turned red with regret,
Endless fear,
Was it time to repent

Where was the feeling
Where was the love
Where were those promises
We made to God up above

I felt your fingers unclasp from mine
Our arms, untwine,
The sacred thread unknot,
Was this happening, was it not

I awoke, feverish
Heaved a sigh of relief
You’d never leave
Remember promises we’d keep

It was just a dream,
things were not as bad as they seemed
Calming myself down,
I lay back on the sheets

But then I turned, seeking
Reassurance from you
Realization dawned,
That you’d abandoned me too..

Never never love..

Never did I
Know that it
Could happen so soon
Without doubt

Never knew
the dangers
and perils with which
it was fraught

Never can I
Recall those
Ones and zeros
Exchanged without rest

Never had I
Foreseen it
More than ever
I gave it my best

Never could I
Be alone
When I had
You as my light

Never would I
Be forlorn
Or give up
Without a fight

Never will I
Forget the ecstasy
With which
I was carried away

Never did I
Realize it
Would come to this
Like leaves in an autumn shade

Never can I
Live here
Where memories are but
Wisps of the past around

Never shall I
Fall into it
That what was never enough
Never never love..

Being Me...

I like to read a book, I like
Hanging out,
You just want to sit at home and
Sleep it out

I know what I want,
With precision,
You drive me crazy with your
Indecision

Silly thoughts they
Come and go,
But you’ve got so
much to show

I really didn’t think that it’d
Come to this,
I thought we were in
Total bliss,
Now I really know what
Ignorance is

Take me as I am or don’t
take me now,
Don’t tell me you have
Another doubt,
There you go again with all your
Runarounds,
That’ll only make me
Jump and shout

Without you, You think I’d jump
off a roof,
But you don’t know I’m
Bulletproof!

Can I?

Can I be the one
One spark in your life,
Can I be the one
To open up your eyes

Can I be the one
To warm your heart
In times of need,
Can I be the one
To love you from inside

Can I be the one
To tell you that I care,
Can I, can I, can I,
Can I be the one
To help rest your weary mind

Let me be the one
To strengthen your spirit
For tomorrow,
Can I be the one
To hold your hand
Tonight tonight,
Can I be the one
The only one.

And we never got to the weekend..

On Monday
You smiled your smile
That’s how you saved my life..

On Tuesday
You made me fly
Like a bird up so high..

On Wednesday
Confusion reigned
With what you said..

On Thursday
I tried to deny
That it’d change my life..

On Friday
I left your side
And waved goodbye..

Just a dream..

I want this to be
Just a dream
That I can get over
The sooner the better

I can’t tell
If you have seen
The things I believe
Vivid they seem

But if you were to understand
The things I’ve seen
In my mind’s eye
Life, love, memories unreal

Memories planted into my mind
What would our life be
Living it as I see
Just you and me

Memories I haven’t planned for
Those for which I care
Memories I want to live through
Those that scare

Feelings I feel,
Those that I shouldn’t
Feelings from dreams
Those I couldn’t

Alas they seem
More real than fake
With every passing day
My heart does ache..

Oh no! Not again!!!

Into the rain, I walked,
Saw you in the crowd, oblivious,
And for one moment,
It was just the two of us

Unmindful of the storm,
I took my umbrella out,
Not to deflect the rain,
But from you seeing me again

But as you neared me,
As you stared ahead,
My irrelevance,
Seemed to make no sense

Did you see me, did you not
Care for a thought,
Not a slight in your step,
No frown, no threat

And then I knew,
I was a free man, adieu,
I could bury my grief,
Turn a new leaf

But as you walked past,
They hit me through the rain,
Your smile, your scent,
And I fell in love again..

Here we go..

Hola!

A few of my thoughts penned.. er.. typed down.

Regards,
VJ